Just breath.

Alright, now that J has been gone for the last 40 minutes to his dads and K is sleeping nicely in her crib, I can just breath without feeling like it's all going to come apart at the seams.

I realize that J may be having a difficult time with always having to be on the go and possibly maybe feeling like he doesn't have a set place to just call home. He does have a pretty hectic schedule of going back and forth from his dads to my place. Every Monday Tuesday and Wednesday he is at his dads after 4:00, and then every second weekend he is at his dads. Also every second Monday he doesn't come home in the morning, and he gets dropped off at 6:30 in the morning, every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Way to early in my opinion for a 4 year old who goes to preschool three times a week. So on a Tuesday he gets dropped off at 6:30 in the morning and on occasion he goes back to sleep but more often not, then we hang out around the house, watch t.v. and do whatever else comes up then around 4:00 he goes to his dads. Then Wednesday comes around and he gets dropped off at 6:30 again and then he has to go to preschool at 12:15 gets picked up at 2:45 then back to his dads at 3:45. In my opinion thats a lot for a 4 year old to handle.

I try to give him a lot of what he wants within reason, I try to do fun things with him to keep him occupied, but with a needy 3 month old it can get difficult. I wish I could just devout a whole day to him and let him choose anything and everything we did. Thankfully his dad is going to be in Mexico from the 19th of March till the 28th, that whole week he also has no school because of spring break. That week he doesn't have to go ANYWHERE! I am hoping that will make him feel better and it will give us the quality time I'm thinking he is so desperately craving.

Tomorrow will be a better day!